Definition
Withholding is the deliberate denial of something another person wants — affection, approval, intimacy, an answer — in order to raise its perceived value and the effort the other will spend to earn it. Where withdrawal removes presence broadly, withholding targets a specific desired thing and keeps it just out of reach.
Greene treats it as a way to keep a target striving: what is freely given is taken for granted; what is rationed is worked for.
Why it matters
How it works
The withholder identifies what the other person wants most and meters it out — an occasional warmth, a partial answer, an approval that never quite arrives. The intermittent reward is psychologically stickier than a steady one: unpredictability keeps the target attentive and trying, much as a slot machine holds a player.
Over time the relationship reorganizes around earning the withheld thing, and the withholder controls the terms of every satisfaction.