Definition
Suffocation is the failure mode of overwhelming another person — flooding them with attention, contact, and need until the relationship feels like pressure rather than pleasure. Greene treats it as anti-seductive: where seduction creates space for desire to grow, suffocation fills every gap and gives desire nothing to reach for.
It usually springs from insecurity. The needy partner seeks constant reassurance, and the demand for it becomes the very thing that drives the other away.
Why it matters
How it works
The suffocating person interprets any distance as threat and closes it immediately — more messages, more demands for reassurance, more monitoring. Each act of clinging registers to the other person as a loss of freedom, and the instinct to pull away grows. The harder the suffocator holds, the more they create the abandonment they fear.
The contrast with withdrawal is exact. Withdrawal creates a gap and lets the other person move toward it; suffocation eliminates every gap and leaves the other person looking for the exit.