Definition
Self-reliance is the practiced ability to draw confidence and judgment from your own evaluation rather than from the moment-to-moment reactions of other people. It is not isolation or contrarianism — input from others is still welcome — but the centre of gravity for "am I doing well?" sits internally.
Maltz framed it as a stability quality. The self-reliant person can hear criticism without collapsing, hear praise without inflating, and keep working through ambiguous stretches when no external feedback is yet available.
Why it matters
How it works
Self-reliance grows through deliberate practice in low-stakes decisions. Make small calls on your own assessment, log the reasoning, and check the outcomes. Over time, you build a track record that you can consult instead of asking. The same muscle then becomes available for bigger decisions.
Maltz paired self-reliance with self-acceptance: it is much easier to trust your own judgment when you have stopped treating each mistake as evidence of unworthiness. The two qualities reinforce each other — acceptance lowers the cost of being wrong, which makes it safer to decide on your own, which builds the evidence base that makes the next decision easier.