The Secret Signals of Cigarettes, Glasses, and Makeup

Overview

Almost every object a person handles, wears, or smokes becomes an opportunity to perform revealing gestures. Cigarettes, glasses, makeup, lipstick, and even briefcases give us a second set of body-language cues — props that people manipulate without awareness while their attitude leaks through. This topic reads three prop families in detail.

Smoking, the topic argues, is largely an outward signal of inner turmoil — a displacement activity for releasing tension, like the nonsmoker's grooming, gum-chewing, or nail-biting. The diagnostic signal is not whether someone smokes but which direction the smoke is blown: up for confident and positive, down for negative and secretive. Glasses generate their own vocabulary — the glasses-arm-in-mouth reassurance gesture used to stall a decision, peering over the frames to scrutinize, and the choice of heavy versus frameless lenses as a power statement. Makeup, lipstick, and briefcase size round out the prop signals, each shifting how an observer rates a person's intelligence, confidence, and status. The unifying rule: the more objects a person uses, the more intent and emotion they signal.

Key takeaways

Mental model

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Smoking as a displacement signal

Why people smoke

Smoking is described as an outward signal of inner turmoil or conflict — a displacement activity that releases the tension built up in social and business encounters, more about reassurance than nicotine. A smoker waiting outside the dentist's surgery covers anxiety with a cigarette; nonsmokers perform parallel rituals — grooming, gum-chewing, nail-biting, finger- and foot-tapping, cufflink-adjusting, head-scratching. Jewelry serves the same function: high fondle value that displaces insecurity, fear, impatience, or lack of confidence onto the object.

The topic links this to early feeding: studies are cited showing bottle-fed babies are three times more likely to become smokers (and the heaviest smokers) than breastfed babies, who received comfort and bonding unattainable from a bottle. Smokers were also three times more likely to have been thumb-suckers, and to show oral fixations — sucking the arm of their glasses, pen-munching, lip-biting, pencil-chewing.

The stress reversal

Citing Andy Parrot of the University of East London, the topic notes that 80 percent of smokers say they feel less stressed when smoking, yet adult smokers' stress levels are only slightly higher than nonsmokers', and rise as the habit develops. The supposed relaxing effect merely reverses the tension and irritability of nicotine depletion: the smoker's mood is normal during smoking and stressed when not. For a smoker to feel normal, they must always have a lit cigarette. Quitting produces poor moods for the first few weeks, then dramatic improvement once nicotine clears the body.

The two types of smokers

There are two basic types. Addicted smokers depend on nicotine's sedative effect to manage stress; they take longer, deeper puffs and smoke alone. Social smokers smoke only with others or "when I have a few drinks" — a social display to create impressions. In social smoking, the cigarette is actually being smoked only about 20 percent of the time (in shorter, quicker puffs); the other 80 percent is devoted to body-language gestures and rituals — tapping, twisting, flicking, waving. Smaller, quicker puffs stimulate the brain for heightened awareness; longer, slower puffs sedate.

Differences between men and women

When women smoke they often hold the cigarette high, wrist bent back in a wrist display, leaving the front of the body open — using the cigarette as a social and sexual display. When men smoke they keep the wrist straight (to avoid looking effeminate) and drop the smoking hand below chest level after each puff, keeping the body protected. Men also use the Pinch Hold, hiding the cigarette inside the palm — the secretive, "tough guy" or "sneaky" hold seen in films. (Twice as many women smoke as men, both take the same number of puffs, but men hold the smoke in their lungs longer.)

Smoking as a sexual display

Media has long portrayed smoking as sexy. It lets a woman use wrist displays and open her body, with the cigarette used like a small phallus drawn between the lips; a man highlights masculinity with a secretive, seductive hold. Earlier generations ran a courtship ritual — a man lighting a woman's cigarette, she touching his hand and holding his gaze. The perceived attraction rests on the submissive attitude smoking implies. The topic notes the modern decline of this ritual, and that blowing smoke at someone — unacceptable elsewhere — is read in Syria as a sexual invitation from a man to a woman.

How to spot a positive or negative decision

This is the topic's central decision rule. Attitude is revealed by the direction smoke is exhaled — assuming the smoker could have blown it either way and isn't merely avoiding offending others.

| Smoke signal | Reading | | --- | --- | | Blown upward | Positive, superior, confident | | Blown upward, fast | Even more superior / confident | | Blown downward | Negative, secretive, suspicious | | Blown down from the corner of the mouth | Even more negative / secretive | | Blown downward, fast | Even more negative |

In films, the gang or syndicate leader tilts his head back and blows smoke at the ceiling to show superiority; Humphrey Bogart's gangster held the cigarette inverted and blew down from the corner of the mouth while plotting. A card player dealt a good hand tends to blow up; a poor hand, down — though a bluffer may feign disgust (curse, cross arms) then quietly draw, blow upward, and Steeple, which warns the table he is strong. In selling, smokers who have decided to buy blow upward; those who have decided against blow downward.

Smoking and stalling

A 1978 study found smokers took significantly longer to reach a negotiation decision than nonsmokers, with the smoking ritual performed most during tense moments — smokers stall by diverting attention to the smoking process. The practical inference: to get quicker decisions from smokers, negotiate in a room with a large "No Smoking" sign.

Cigars and ending a session

Cigar smokers

Cigars signal superiority through cost and size — the business executive, gang leader, and high-status figure. They mark victory: a birth, a wedding, a clinched deal, a lottery win. Unsurprisingly most cigar smoke is blown upward — at one celebration dinner, 320 of 400 recorded exhalations went up.

How smokers end a session

Most smokers burn a cigarette to a habitual length before extinguishing — women slowly stub it out, men crush it with the thumb. The tell: if a smoker lights a cigarette and suddenly extinguishes it earlier than usual, they have signaled a decision to terminate the conversation. Spotting this lets you take control and close as though it were your idea.

How to read glasses

Every artificial aid creates revealing gestures, and glasses are a rich source. The most common is placing one arm of the frame in the mouth.

The reassurance gesture

As Desmond Morris noted, putting objects against the lips or in the mouth is a momentary attempt to relive the security of the breast — so the Glasses-Arm-in-Mouth gesture is essentially a reassurance gesture.

Glasses as a power statement

People pictured wearing glasses were judged about fourteen IQ points more intelligent — but the effect lasts under five minutes, so glasses help most in short interviews. In a business context, adding glasses to a face makes the person read as studious, intelligent, conservative, educated, and sincere; the heavier the frame, the stronger these descriptions, regardless of sex. Frameless, small, or spindly frames convey a powerless, fashion-first image. The advice: heavy frames to make serious points, frameless styles for a "nice guy" image. The intelligent look is reduced by oversized lenses, loud colored frames, or distracting initials; frames one size larger than the face make younger people look older and more authoritative. The pattern reverses in social contexts, where you are selling yourself as a friend or mate.

Stalling tactics with glasses

As with smoking, Glasses-Arm-in-Mouth is used to stall or delay a decision, appearing most at the close after a decision has been requested. Continually removing and cleaning the lenses buys the same time. When the gesture follows a request for a decision, silence is the best tactic. What follows the gesture signals intent:

| Follow-on gesture | Meaning | | --- | --- | | Puts the glasses back on | Wants to "see" the facts again | | Folds glasses and puts them away | Intends to terminate the conversation | | Throws glasses onto the desk | Symbolically rejects the proposal |

Peering over the glasses

Used by 1920s–30s film actors to play the critical, judgmental schoolteacher, Peering-Over-the-Glasses makes the receiver feel scrutinized or judged and provokes negatives — folded arms, crossed legs, an argumentative attitude. The fix: remove glasses to speak and replace them to listen; the listener becomes conditioned that glasses-off means you have the floor and glasses-on returns it to them.

Lenses and tinting

Contact lenses can make pupils appear dilated, moist, and reflective — softer and more sensual, fine socially but disastrous in business (a businessman mesmerized by the effect hears nothing). Tinted glasses and sunglasses are never acceptable in business and arouse suspicion socially; to convey that you see clearly, use clear glass.

Wearing glasses on the head

People wearing dark sunglasses during a meeting read as suspicious, secretive, and insecure; those who push them up onto the head read as relaxed, youthful, and "cool." The reason: pushed up, the lenses mimic two huge eyes with dilated pupils on top of the head — the nonthreatening "Four Eyes" effect that babies and cuddly toys with painted large pupils have on us.

The power of glasses and makeup

A four-assistant selling experiment compared every combination of glasses and makeup at separate merchandise tables (four-to-six-minute conversations, then customer recall). The woman wearing both glasses and makeup was rated confident, intelligent, sophisticated, and most outgoing — though some women also read her as cold or conceited (a competitor), which men never did. Makeup-without-glasses scored well on appearance but lower on listening and rapport. No-makeup assistants scored worst on personal skills and presentation; glasses-without-makeup made little difference. Most women noticed when makeup was absent; most men could not recall. Both made-up women were even perceived as wearing shorter skirts — makeup reads as sexier. The combination of glasses and makeup has the most positive, memorable business impact, so a pair of non-corrective glasses can be a deliberate business strategy.

A little lippy, lady?

Across interviews where nine women wore lipstick for half and not the other half: bright red lipstick and larger lip displays read as self-interested and seeking male attention; reduced lip displays in muted or pastel colors read as career-oriented and businesslike. No lipstick read as serious about work but lacking personal skills. Almost all female interviewers noticed lipstick presence; only half the men noticed its absence. The rule: large bright-red displays for dates, smaller understated displays for business — unless the field sells female image (clothing, cosmetics, hairdressing), where bright displays are a positive.

Briefcase signals

Briefcase size maps to status. A large, bulging briefcase suggests the owner does all the work, takes work home, and manages time poorly; a slim briefcase says the owner cares only about the bottom line and carries more status. Carry it to one side, preferably the left hand, so the right is free for a smooth handshake. A woman should never carry a briefcase and handbag at once (it reads as disorganized), and no one should use a briefcase as a barrier between themselves and another person.

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